“The 5 Sins of Storytelling” is a free excerpt from Laurie Alberts book, “Showing and Telling”. You can get it here.
I am ashamed. My stories are a perfect example of the 5th sin – Sentimental Scenes.
He lay his hand on her head, brushing her brown locks back. The retriever leaned into his hand.
Her eyes closed, and her body relaxed into the cushion. He continued petting her until she was cold.
She was buried in the backyard, under the sycamore tree.
Blech. Look at that. And I TRIED NOT TO MAKE IT SENTIMENTAL OR CLICHE. WHY. WHY. WAHHHHHHHH.
We’ll work hard.
We’ll *sob* get better at it.