A Writer’s Day

My day is normal for a writer.

Annoying pixies wake me up, berating me for staying up late “working”. I am escorted to the bathroom, where I stand bleary eyed in front of the sink, squinting at my reflection.

My nose looks unusually big. And why does my face look swollen?

I have some pie for breakfast. I realize pie doesn’t settle with me so well, so I have cereal. The tiny shoe making elves made shoes for the cobbler, but came into the kitchen for a midnight snack, so it looks like something has exploded in there. I clean up. Cinderella is no help at all.

I am late for class. The pixies are back, heralding me to the dragon. The dragon tamer is a bit more gentle in his driving, so the pie doesn’t make a reappearance. The pixies chatter endlessly on my shoulders. The toad princes sit heavy on my head, croaking depressingly about my characters and their stories and I laugh at other dragons as we speed past them. AHAHAHA I AM A VIP YOU ARE STUCK THERE!

I am not a morning person.

The dragon nearly stops on a ladybug and I step off and follow the giant to grain counting class. As I sit down, I am called suddenly by the Elves of the High Order.
I have no choice but to leave my solid form behind and project my astral self to their rescue.

It’s LORTHA MORE! He’s attacked! The castle is aflame and pixies fall from the skies, their shrill voices screaming as they burn! I remove my sword and glance down, via iphone, at my solid form. Should I?

A gnome spits in my face, and I skewer it, joined by my faithful companions. We fight!

I come back in time to get up an leave without anyone getting suspicious. I arrive at the library and am snapped up by the evil INTERNATOR. But I break free!

I sit here now, at the computer – what’s that scratching sound?

OH NOOOOOOESSS AN EVIL DRAGON IS ATTACKING THE LIBRARY CONTACT THE NIGHTS AT THE HOLLOW OAK WITH THIS MAGI-

DARNIT

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